Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The beer is more important than you right now.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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