I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
