Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
