Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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