Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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