How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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