oh god the rape fog is back!
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
