thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
