dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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