I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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