He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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