no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
