All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
