you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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