Who did Billy Mays play for?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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