I wanna passion pit in your ass
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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