I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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