There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize
