i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
