Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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