She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We're too hungover to prance.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
