just tell him i said nine months
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Randomize
