so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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