If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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