dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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