best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
