I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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