Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
