She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
