For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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