Me too!
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
