I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize