after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
