Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
