I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
