It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
