umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
