yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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