woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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