I'm jealous of your bromance
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize