I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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