we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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