Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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