Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
