please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
