just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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