Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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