And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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