I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
