I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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