Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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