sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
