I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
