people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize