my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
