Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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