she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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