I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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