Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
