I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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