He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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