Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
