How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i think my mom watched the whole time
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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