I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
