I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
