i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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