you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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