I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He's a Shit stain on my heart
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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