I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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