Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
