Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
