if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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