Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
